u/Vintageblues via Reddit
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Santa’s mailbox isn’t just filled with wishes—it’s brimming with pure comedy gold! From outrageous demands to brutally honest confessions, kids’ letters to Santa never fail to deliver laughs. In this collection, we’ve gathered the funniest, quirkiest, and most unfiltered gems that only kids could dream up. Get ready to chuckle!
I doubt if Santa would understand this specific letter from a kid, but he’d surely laugh about why he received alphabets instead of a wish! I’ll tell you the story!
So, Reddit user u/dalekmania is a teacher, and as part of their activity, she wanted her first-grade class to write letters to Santa. Well, one of her students took it literally!
“You said letters, not wishes, Ma’am! I wrote alphabets!” I can only imagine this defense from the kid. Laughs. “I should’ve been more specific with my instruction,” she said. (Lesson learned, Ma’am!)
“Sorry, Santa! This paper isn’t enough for all my wishes. I wish mom could’ve given me longer paper!” or perhaps—she’s just lazy? She had better keep it a secret if it took her three hours.
Is Santa going to this kid’s chimney and find the wishes himself? Isn’t it easier for him to reveal himself and talk to this adorable kid for three hours instead?
What do you think? Nonetheless, stay curious, Santa! If you really want to know this kid’s wishes, free your schedule on Saturday and give this angel three hours to explain themselves! Got it?
Do we all agree that Emily deserves a puppy this year? Just one puppy, not two or three. Just one, Santa! Please hear this beautiful angel.
She’s willing to sacrifice the nine (9) things she wrote on her wishlist in exchange for one puppy. If that’s not sincerity, then what is it?
I hope her father realized that the list was a lie and gave her a puppy instead; it would surely mean a lot to Emily. Dear parents, know your kids’ real Christmas wishes!
Reading this letter changed how I view Santa. From a man with a full beard, he turns to a man with tiger claws, hence, Santa Claws! Rawr! (Is that how Thomas imagined him, too?)
Regardless, the poor Thomas was not wishing for himself, though. Rather, he wants his baby brother not to receive any presents because besides hurting them, he also calls Santa trash! Whoa!
Thomas is a certified Santa defender! He probably thought it would’ve been unfair to Santa if he gave his baby bro a gift if he was mean to the Christmas guy! Do you think Santa would care?
I wonder if the letter has reached the Santa North Pole! If only I knew that was Santa’s address, I swear! I would’ve written that address, too, in my letter!
Berkley was mad serious with his exclamation points. I think the mail truck disappointed him for how many years because his letters didn’t reach Santa’s gift-making factory.
Whoever drives that mail truck, you better get the letter to Santa North Pole! Don’t disappoint Berkley again. Don’t wait for him to deliver the letter himself and ask Santa not to give your present!
Santa, don’t laugh! I know you understand the kid! That’s just his unique way to greet everyone “Merry Christmas!” (Yep, he has his own language, and we need to decode it.)
If you have skaboord in your Santa bag, don’t forget to visit yoor frid and put that gift underneath the Christmas tree before he wakes up!
You love nice kids, Santa, and he earned that, at least! He bin good this yer, according to him. Don’t you love it when kids know that they’ve done well throughout a challenging year?
This is why you shouldn’t force kids to write a letter to Santa if they have no wishes to write. Yikes! He knows Santa’s notty list is empty, and so is his good list.
“You can’t fool me, Santa!” was the kid’s vibe when writing his letter. Imagine telling Santa his life is empty. Who hurt this kid, really? What did Santa do?
But, really, though…this kid sounds like he had a hard time this year. Perhaps, he’s right—Santa had no idea of the troubles he had gone through. Deep. Isn’t it?
Nope, you’re wrong. This two-year-old kid is not writing to Satan! The word was just jumbled. Could we blame him, though? If we, adults, commit typos, kids, too!
How sweet this kiddo is to write a letter on their father’s behalf. Maybe Santa would entertain adults’ wishes if written by kids! Clever move, honestly!
Just one booze this Christmas, Santa! It wouldn’t hurt, I guess? Approve this letter and visit this kid’s dad. Make sure he tastes the best booze from the North Pole!
Yeah, I think so, too. He wants to believe in Santa, but what seems wrong if Santa is either his mom or dad? After all, he loves them!
This letter just shows how much this kid loves his/her parents! He says, “I love you” whenever he can, and it’s so cute! They raised him/her well.
But I think it’s interesting to know why he/she wishes immortality. How do you think his/her parents would explain that he/she couldn’t be imortl ever?
Look at that adorable and proud smile. So innocent, right? Until you look at the piece of paper! She didn’t mean it, folks. I’ll vouch for this kid.
Maybe she was so excited to write her letter and didn’t have much time to proofread it! How can you rewrite it if you’re already smiling in front of the camera? That’s just impossible!
Let’s give this kiddo the benefit of the doubt, shall we? She barely had started with her letter. With that cute face of hers, I’m sure she wrote wishes that are truly for Santa!
“Santa, the point of my letter is…. I want hamsters this Christmas, but let me first rant about my Mommy, Aunt Jessica, and Ashley. Can I?” That’s how I’ve imagined this kiddo’s lengthy letter!
We all have experienced being in fifth grade, and it was confusing when adults were suddenly grumpy! Unsurprisingly, this kid wanted the adults to control their anger like a Jedi.
Aside from the hamster (which I hope he really got), I am curious whether Santa helped Ashley to be smart and not get this poor kiddo in any troubles—ANYMORE!
It’s not like Santa could bring someone back to life. But this kid right here is taking his/her chances! I understand him/her. Deeply. (I’m an adult now and there’s no moving on from Mufasa’s death!)
SPOILER ALERT! If only we could enter through the screens while watching The Lion King and warn Mufasa that he will die! We would’ve prevented his death.
However, it would change the whole plot! Let’s just think that Santa may have refused to grant this wish because rewriting it would lose the impact of the film! (But still it hurts, though!)
Oh, Santa has a Jewish fan! It proves that Santa appeals to kids regardless of their religion. Whether you like it or not, kids love Santa because kids love gifts!
You know what’s funny? It’s not because she’s Jewish and she believes in Santa. It’s the fact that she said, “Please, don’t give me coal. :-(”
Santa, I hope you didn’t give her coals. Though she didn’t specify her Christmas wish, you’ve got one thing to do: no coals, don’t give coals. Thanks!
Don’t ask why, just give this kid his/her ten dollers, Santa. “I really need some for me.” That sounds urgent; we better not ask further questions. Grins.
We can make assumptions instead. Maybe this kiddo’s wish is unavailable in your North Pole factory. So, give them the dollers, and they’ll buy them for themselves. Less workload for you, Santa!
This kid loves Santa so much that she/he wants to make his job easier. Double “PS,” which says “I love you”; that’s an emphasis right there!
First, Carlee is sorry for her bad attitude, but most importantly, she’s representing Quinn and Lucas, who felt sad, too, because they drank pees. Help! (Do kids get this weirdly curious?)
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read this letter. I had to blink repeatedly and ensure I read the right word—pee. Ugh. Parents, where have you been? Why did it happen?
Santa would’ve included these kids’ parents in there if there was a bad parent list! What do you mean your kids drank pee? That’s not normal! Keep them safe, y’all!
If you don’t want to end up vomiting, take this kiddo’s advice, Santa! Don’t eat the gingerbread, just in case you see it when you’re leaving your gifts!
Consider that a warning. He’s not joking. Kids often tell the truth. Kieran would rather see Santa leave with an empty stomach than see him vomiting right on their carpet! (Imagine the mess.)
When he gets older, he’ll make sure cookies and milk for Santa are safe to consume. He seems to be the type of person who wants Christmas to happen to every child! (He’s honest, too!)
At least she/he’s sorry that she/he doesn’t believe in Santa, even though this kid has the right because, apparently, she/he’s Jewish. Haha! Don’t take it against her/him, folks.
She/He’s kind enough to inform Santa that they’re out of town, so if he ever visits their home, expect no cookies and milk. He could just skip their residence, and it would be fine!
This kiddo doesn’t want Santa to waste his time in a home with no people present. If that’s not an act of kindness, maybe he just knows Santa’s business. He’s a busy guy!
Sydney meant her Pixie Twinkle Star would be wrapped in a newspaper in a box, and she would be wrapped with all other elves, so calm down…you’ve got nothing to worry about. Phew!
That’s just a silly misspelling of the word wrapped. Santa, you can breathe properly now. I know that one got you stressed out. It’s okay, we were surprised, too!
We hope Pixie Twinkle Star had so much fun with the elves. And yes, Sydney, Santa’s okay that you wrapped Pixie in a newspaper with the elves inside the box!
Instead of wishes, why not encourage Santa to grab a beer as much as he likes? Flynn knows Santa is a grown man and probably wanted beers instead of milk and cookies!
Isn’t he sweet, though? The way he said, “PS: The fridge is near the door,” Santa could find it with no trouble. We want more kids like Flynn, a gentleman-in-the-making!
He must’ve felt nice when Santa replied to the note saying, “Just one was great, thank you!” because Santa took his offer and thanked him for his kindness! Aww.
Let’s get down to buisness. The attempt to act transactional by this kid was ruined by their own spelling, though it was an adorable mistake! I’m cackling.
Does this kiddo think Santa is a mafia boss? If he could leave gifts to every child worldwide, he must’ve been exaggeratingly wealthy like a mafia, right? Couldn’t blame him!
But, hey, Santa! Don’t give this kid the number 4 on his list. I don’t think that’s a good idea for a kid to have. Just tell him it’s not available in your factory!
Yeah, right! Don’t mess with Lilly! She may be half good and half bad, but most importantly, she asks brilliant questions! A smart girl, if you ask me.
“If you know all about us, why do we tell you what we want? Is it an honesty test?” Well, if I were Santa, this question would leave me gagged.
Lilly is a savage little girl. She literally wrote, “Kinda love you, I never met you,” which explains why she doesn’t trust Santa that much. Better be careful than too lax!
I don’t think you’re age 22, Scott. But kudos for trying to fool Santa! Did he get you the geraffe that you wished? I hope he does. That sounds like a lovely animal!
Your geraffe must be very rare because it neighs! Not like other animals! (Forget about horses.) If Santa gave you one last Christmas, how’s the experience sitting on top of the world?
You’ve been a good boy; we’re very proud of you! I hope you’re also proud of yourself, kiddo. We would love to see you someday on a real giraffe and helicopter!
If you’re having trouble finding the right gift for your nice kids, Santa, you must visit Target because they have everything a kid could wish for!
Got no drones with cameras and remote controls at the North Pole? Listen to Rahul! He must’ve scouted the isles at Target and saw them there. The kid took notes!
But…if he gave his parents money for no reason, then why did his parents didn’t buy him drones?! A mystery we’ve yet to uncover. We know they owe you, Rahul!
Reddit user u/joshweinstein shared this cute photo of his Jewish cousin’s son, whom she took at Macy’s, and wrote a letter to Santa! Y’all have been heard, Jews! Santa should visit your houses, for real!
We don’t want to hear there are special treatments, Santa. Jewish kids have spoken; they want you in their homes and give them presents (take note: not coals).
Give it a try, Christmas guy! Show yourself to these kids and ignite the Christmas magic in their hearts! Please, please? They prepared milk and cookies for you.
Why wait for Christmas if this letter could get to the North Pole as early as possible? More time for Santa to prepare your wishes! (Well, were you a nice or naughty kid?)
Why don’t we have his telephone number? I wonder, too! This kiddo is such a mood, “I couldn’t call you because I didn’t know your phone number! What is it?!!??”
Spill the tea to those who knew. Help us reach Santa if our letters remain in the dusky box of post offices! We have internet access now so that we can send emails, too!
Oh, Carin! You called Santa “baby” when you’re clearly the baby angel here. So sweet of you to remind Santa not to forget his ice-cold milk and cookies that you’ve left for him. Aww!
Don’t you agree that she was raised well by her parents? She even prepared baby carrots for Santa’s reindeer! She wanted to include everyone. We’re too soft right now, Carin!
Kids and their innocence, really. They remind me so much of what Christmas is all about, a time to love and care. We need more Carin in this world!
This kid has gone through so much in life, but she/he has tried to be very good this year. It’s just that she/he had his/her moments!
This letter is so realistic, don’t you think? As an adult, I could say I’ve done good things this year, but I also had my moments of vulnerability and mistakes.
Despite that, I know Santa’s forgiving, a father figure we wish we all had at some point in life. Whether on his nice or naughty list, we all deserve gifts. I’m accepting candies!
Are we all seeing a sincere apology from Kristin, or does she just want Santa to give her Christmas presents? Don’t yell next time, baby girl! Most importantly…. don’t be mean, yeah?
That sketch of herself looks like a mischievous self-portrait! I hope Santa didn’t misunderstand that, Kristin. Oh, especially those eyes…she may be up to something after apologizing.
Give this kiddo a chance, Santa. P.S.S.S. She’s really sorry, so write back to her! You wouldn’t want to leave kids hanging and wondering, Santa!
Same, Lilly. Same. To have real poceamons playing and hanging out with you would be a dream come true! You’d get to witness their superpowers firsthand!
Maybe Santa and Poceamons are friends; we just didn’t know because Santa’s been secretive and mysterious lately. Sighs. What do you think of Pikachu helping Santa with the gifts?
If Santa gatekeeps the real Pokemon from you, I hope he gives you the treehouse you’ve been asking for and plays with your human friends instead, Lilly! Nothing could compare to that!
“My friend’s little brother wrote a letter to Santa. They can’t tell whether he wants shoes or 5 hoes,” a Reddit user captioned, and we’re all a little bit concerned here!
Maybe he likes gardening so much that he needed five hoes to cultivate their backyard. A plantsman-in-the-making, and we need to support him with that cause!
However, I think the innocent kid wants new shoes this Christmas if we look closely at the photo. It’s nothing too complicated, like five hoes for gardening. He just wanted to play basketball!
Chaos was unleashed when this kid learned that Santa was his mom and dad. Feeling betrayed and hurt, kiddo now hates Christmas? Tsk, tsk. Some explanation is needed.
Words were written in caps; we knew it was not a good sign. This kid was hell mad. Christmas was ruined because Santa’s not real.
I hope this kiddo has grown mature and understanding and realized that hating his/her parents for lying about Santa’s existence was just their way of making Christmas magical!
Good question right here from Ella! She’s clearly not afraid to ask Santa tough and realistic questions. It really does make sense, though. It’s not like Santa’s immortal…. or is he?
If we need pauses in life, Santa obviously needs it, too. So, what really happens when he gets sick? Is there a backup Santa, as Ella called it? How many Santas are there in reality?
And…. how old is he, really? Ella, you’re making so much sense right now. I’m embarrassed as an adult that I haven’t thought of it!
If Santa visits this kiddo’s house, he wouldn’t have to worry about getting caught because this kid gave him some helpful tips! Leave before 6:00 am or risk yourself getting exposed Santa!
Who doesn’t want their job to be successful, right? Santa would surely appreciate this gesture from this kiddo. This will make his mission smooth and easy!
Oh, don’t forget that his stocking was on the left side, Santa! Fill it with presents, no coals. I’m reminding you of that again. At this point, you have to make me your assistant now.
If you can’t buy what this kiddo wants, then don’t stress. Take it easy on yourself, Santa! Isn’t she/he caring? She/He doesn’t want Santa to tire himself out!
Though he/she proposed an option: give me tens and ones of mony (she/he’ll buy it for him/herself instead). Seems easier, right? Take it or leave it, Santa!
How are your raindeers? Innocent spelling mistake. We won’t take this against this kiddo. They have to take themselves easy, too. Kidding aside, I’m curious about this kiddo’s wish!
I don’t want toys and presents. I want my lizard back this Christmas! Aww, poor Ross. He needed to bribe Santa and his raindeers with some treats, so they could focus on finding the lizard.
Reading his letter, do you think he placed the lizard and crayfish together before it disappeared? If yes, isn’t it possible that the lizard was, in fact, eaten? Horror story!
Hurry up, Santa. Find Ross’s beloved lizard because we couldn’t stand the fact that his lizard might’ve been devoured by the crayfish. He seriously wants to do things right this time.
Don’t lie to kids because they could get so mean if they figured out the truth! “I can’t believe you anymore” was enough to conclude that this kiddo lost his/her hope in Christmas.
“I really tried to believe,” Yes, we can feel that, kiddo (especially your rage). However, you have to trust me that everything will get better even though Santa was just your parents after all!
They didn’t break your heart; the act matters, kid. Isn’t it much better that the one who gives you presents is your parents, not a stranger?
Let me hold your hand, Alex, and let me tell you that you’re wishing for the wrong person. Take another piece of paper, and let’s rewrite it together. Shall we?
It’s Dear Santa not Satan, you’ve probably jumbled the letters just like adults do. We understand, kiddo! It happens sometimes. It’s the intention that matters.
The red marker is not helping with the vibe, too. It felt like the message was more of a warning rather than a wish. Haha! Keep the red markers away from kids, please!
“My daughter learned Santa wasn’t real this year. Just got her Christmas list,” said Reddit user u/TatersArePrecious, and they’re probably wondering how they could give her childhood back.
I would’ve wished for the same thing if only it could happen. Forget about Lego sets, Looney Toons Converse—I just want my childhood back!
Christmas feels so different today. Maybe it’s because of adulthood, we are losing the charm of Christmas because priorities and paying the bills became more significant.
Aiden is a practical child, and you cannot change my mind. He wants chicken not as a pet but something he would look forward to eating when it grows! Clever, you think?
Come to think of it: if Santa gives him a chick this Christmas or next Christmas, he’ll have something to roast with his family! Definitely the perfect Christmas, y’all!
I wonder if he can roast it once he gets emotionally attached to the chick he once asked from Santa! Are we expecting him to change his heart next Christmas? Stay tuned!
If you want Santa to grant your wishes, leave cookies for him, just like Tyler did. He wanted monsters out of his home, hence, the cookies!
I mean, who wants monsters, really? That’s a practical choice from Tyler, nonetheless! Instead of gifts, he wants to celebrate Christmas without thinking about monsters ruining it for him.
We hope no monsters intruded on your privacy, Tyler! You deserve a white peaceful Christmas and a sound sleep. Monsters went with Santa; they helped him sort the gifts instead.
Clean my room when you leave. Kim, you’re one of a kind! Laughs. Slow clapping. Surely, Santa clicked his tongue while reading your awesome letter!
As an adult, I would’ve wanted someone to clean my room instead of bringing me some toys. I’m over it. I need to rest while my room is clean.
So, Kim…I think you are me in a kid’s body. Thanks for the inspiration. I’ll write a letter to Santa and ask him to clean my room, too. Perhaps, next Christmas?
Thank you for sharing this letter, Reddit user u/joshually! Now, just like you, we are BOTHERED. Who leaves their letter incomplete? What happens if they don’t go to Disneyland? We’re dying to know!
They’d rather…what? Cry on their bed? Celebrate in their homes? What? Cries. Such a cliffhanger, eh? I hope someone can solve this Macy’s unfinished business!
It’s puzzling and intriguing. I might dream of this when I close my eyes at night, hoping to see the continuation of the letter there. (Yes, for peace of mind!)
Oh, no, kiddo. Beers are not for five-year-olds! Even if you’re on Santa’s nice list, he’d certainly give you another gift because, again…. beers are for adults.
There’s a right time for that, kiddo. I know you’re curious! When you get older, you can drink beer as much as you want. (Though I’d still advise to drink moderately!)
For now, enjoy your ice-cold milk and cookies! Eat cakes and roasted turkey! Sip an orange juice! Savor your childhood because you might want to turn back once it’s gone.
This letter would make Santa smile because she’s not asking for more; she just wants to remind Santa that he can do his mission no matter what. Aww, such a cutie pie!
It’s not bad to ask Santa how he is and cheer him up. Take this kiddo as an example. She seems selfless, so joining Santa’s cheerleading squad is perfect!
Imagine Santa reading his mountain of letters, and he picked this one. It’s lovely to see kids caring about other people, especially those personalities they respect and adore, regardless of whether they’re real or not.
It sounds like this kid has made a mistake and broke his 3D DSI because of carelessness; now he’s asking Santa to give him another chance! Do you think he deserves it?
We all have our moments of carelessness, and maybe Santa understands where this kid is coming from. Kids can get so clumsy without meaning it. Proven and tested.
It’s funny how he left some blanks so Santa could justify his reasons for encircling yes or no. Well, a rejection must be justified, so we would know where to improve ourselves!
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